Anyone who frequents newsgroups for any length of time picks up some
\nfairly random stuff along the way. So in an attempt not to lose all the
\ngreat bits of ephemera I shall post them here.<\/p>\n
Northen Lights<\/strong><\/p>\n spectacular photos can be found here<\/a>.<\/p>\n 213 Things Skippy is No Longert Allowed to do in the Military<\/strong><\/p>\n Strange and bizarrely funny list of exploits carried out by on Specialist Shwartz<\/a> formerly of the US Army in Bosnia.<\/p>\n I have no idea where this came from but It’s too funny not to share.<\/p>\n IT’S NO fun being a kid, these days. I know this because, Today i went for a ride on my new bycicle. My dad bort it becaus my Nobody gave me a toffy i replide, my increesed wate is probly on acount It is a nise bycicle. It is bolted to the flore in our sellar and there It is okay in the sellar, there is no windo for jerms, diesl funes, i was alowed into the gardn after that, becaus it was time for my swim. After lunch (lettice patties and non-bacterial yogurt, 31 calries) my Then we climed into into my tree-hous and had tee. It is easy to clime Then james said culd we go to the park, and my mum fainted, and dad The SysAdmin’s Christmas Carole<\/strong><\/p>\n Originally seen on the Scary Devil Monastery, origin unknown.<\/p>\n God rest ye CS students now, The bearings on the drum are gone, We’ve just received a call from DEC, It takes nine hundred K. And now some cheery news for you, And now we’d like to say to you We hope the news we’ve brought to you CHORUS: — to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Anyone who frequents newsgroups for any length of time picks up some fairly random stuff along the way. So in an attempt not to lose all the great bits of ephemera I shall post them here. Northen Lights spectacular photos can be found here. 213 Things Skippy is No Longert Allowed to do in the … Continue reading Random Stuff<\/span>
\n<\/strong>
\n
\nWhat I Didn’t Do On My Holidays<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nas a million kids this morning hand in homework essays on what they did
\nat the Bank Holiday, one is explaining that his blew out of the window.
\nI found it.<\/p>\n
\nboddy-mass index was .002% too high on Friday, and my Mum started
\nscreeming yu hav eeten a toffy, nigel, who gave yu the toffy, i cannot
\nlet yu out of my site for a second, what did he look like, did he tuch
\nyu, if so wear?<\/p>\n
\nof particulates falling out of the sky on to me wile i was in the
\ngardn, or a grothe inside me due to passiv smoaking from Mr Foskett
\nacros the rode, last thersday my windo was open and so was his, or
\nmaybe some hevvy fleas jumped on me off of a nurban fox. At this, my
\ndad stagger and grab the fridge for suport, seting off the alarm (yu
\nare not alowed to tuch the fridge between meels), i hav told yu not to
\ngo into the gardn unacompnied, he cri, ilegal imgrants mite hav cut the
\nrazer-wire in the nite, yu culd end up in tieland as a yunuk slave or
\nin a nafgan traning camp or in irak with boms tied round yu.<\/p>\n
\nis a screen in front of it showing a video of Hamsted High Street, it
\nis just like being their exept i wuld not have ecg wires stuk to me
\nmonitrin my hart. I wear a helmet in case my seet belt snaps and
\ni
\nslip off, or somthing drops on me off of the seeling, my mum says yu
\nnever kno wear a spiders feet hav been, also it culd be poisonus, even
\nwaitrows cannot be sure they hav not cum into this cuntry on a norganic
\nbanana.<\/p>\n
\npollen, dedly wosps, chernobil stuff or terrists to get in thruogh, and
\nthere is a fone in case the blud pressure machine on my arm shows more
\nthan 100 over 60. It is not a sellphone of corse, because i am not
\nalowed to hav brane canser, and it does not take incumming calls due to
\nhevvy breething. After i peddled 10 kilometers as recomended by the
\ndepartmant of helth, i foned my mum and she unlokked the door and
\nchekked my pulse and gave me my snak. It was a hoam-made spinich lolly
\nwith 8 calries.<\/p>\n
\ni say swim, it is more of a paddel, because my dad puts only two
\nsentimeters of water in the pool, after he has boyled the impuritys
\naway, and even then i hav to wear a mask and snorkle. i do not mind
\nbecause it wuld be hard to swim with the chane on anyway. The chane is
\nfixed to a concreat blok, in case my father hav to run into the hous
\nfor any reason and leeve me aloan. i also hav to carry an umbrella wen
\ni paddel, due to pidgen droppings, you can get ashthma and go blind and
\nfail gcse.<\/p>\n
\nbest frend james from next dore came round. After sining my dad\u00ef\u00bf\u00bds
\nclipboard and showing him the noat from there solister, his parents
\nwated until my dad had body-searched him in their presents and put him
\nthruogh our scanner, and then james and me went to play french crickit.
\nIt is quite a dangeruos game, one of yu has a batt made of
\nbiodegradable carboard and the other one thros a sponge at his legs. If
\nit hits his legs, he is out. He is then examined for dammidge by a
\nsame-sex parent in the presents of a qualfied witniss (today it was Mr
\nSimson JP MBE from no. 64), and it is his tern to be in. This does not
\nmean he has wun, yu are not alowed to win or loose, exitement can
\nreleese fatty asids into the sistem, you get an emblism and fail gcse.<\/p>\n
\ninto becaus it is on the ground, as reqired by Helth & Safety
\nExective Para 3317, but yu can see the tree thruogh the window, if you
\nput on dark goggles and sunscreen factor 800. Tee was a norganic
\ncollieflour chees without chees, due to clesterol clogging your vanes,
\nthen we went inside and watched tee vee. A bit dull, due to wear it was
\nswitched off on account of posible vilence cumming on, also rays
\ncumming out and giving yu sindromes.<\/p>\n
\nsaid it was time james went hoam, and he e-mailed his parents and they
\ndrove round from next dore in the 4wd to pik him up, so i had to play
\nsubutio on my own, but my mum sed yu cant be spers as wel as chelsey,
\nall that flikking will give yuor forfinger reptive strane injry, yu
\nwill not be abel to text for help if a man gives yu sweets, so i went
\nupstares and rote this hoamwork.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nLet nothing you dismay.
\nThe VAX is down and won’t be up,
\nUntil the first of May.
\nThe program that was due this morn,
\nWon’t be postponed, they say.
\n(chorus)<\/p>\n
\nThe disk is wobbling, too.
\nWe’ve found a bug in Lisp, and Algol
\nCan’t tell false from true.
\nAnd now we find that we can’t get
\nAt Berkeley’s 4.2.
\n(chorus)<\/p>\n
\nThey’ll send without delay
\nA
\nmonitor called
\nRSuX<\/p>\n
\nThe staff committed suicide,
\nWe’ll bury them today.
\n(chorus)<\/p>\n
\nThe network’s also dead,
\nWe’ll have to print your files on
\nThe line printer instead.
\nThe turnaround time’s nineteen weeks.
\nAnd only cards are read.
\n(chorus)<\/p>\n
\nBefore
\nwe go
\naway,<\/p>\n
\nWon’t ruin your whole day.
\nYou’ve got another program due, tomorrow, by the way.
\n(chorus)<\/p>\n
\nOh, tidings of comfort and joy,
\ncomfort and joy.
\nOh, tidings of comfort and joy.<\/p>\n